.Sunday, November 29, 2009 Y
LOL.
to yy: i shouldn't make this my private blog lah, i still wanna talk crap here bout other stuff de mah. i wanna call you tonight HAHA.
anyway, i doubt anyone's reading haha.
just found out some things by myself hahaha.
maybe i should just stop asking;
i dont know.
i dont wanna know anything more.
sticking by my own rules; toodles.
.Friday, November 13, 2009 Y
hey darling! this post is specially dedicated to YOU!
it's been our 163rd day together! like what you've said, it's really not too long, neither is it short, but its long enough to make me fall for you so deeply, loving you a whole lot too!
being with you always gives me a special feeling. it makes me feel loved, feel cared for, and feel safe and secure.
just like the time we were in the tent. i know i was freaking scared, frantically wanting the stupid cockroach to get out of the tent, but it just wouldn't budge. and though you simply murmured "don't worry, i'll protect you...", hugging me and falling back to sleep (like immediately), i knew at that instant i felt a whole lot calmer. i feel your warm breath on me, i felt your heartbeat pumping right beside mine, i feel blissful, and soon fell back to sleep.
and, the grasscutting incident. i never knew i was so afraid of grasscutting til now. the sound of the cutters, the flying of the grass (or perhaps any other things that got in the way of the cutters)...it simply freaked me out as the sound approached me. thanks dear, for letting me hide in your arms. thanks for reassuring me that everything was gonna be alright. i really, really felt safe.
this relationship has taught me alot alot too!
i will learn to say things without being threatened.
i learnt that even though things may not go the way it was planned, making the best situation out of it, still does make everything meaningful, or even more meaningful.
things don't go the way we planned it, and i (hope i ) learnt not to plan anything.
like what i used to say, go with the flow and see how it goes. i guess i have to do what i preach LOL.
when things are not planned, though irritance seem to show on my face, but its really not the case, dear. i enjoy the moment spent with you. the surprises you give me, the surprises we receive when our plan becomes unsuccessful. LOL.
i love the movie 2012!!! though there's some awkward moments with your sis, but with time im so gonna gang up with your sis and bully you man! :):P:D
on the way home i went to ponder, thinking about what would i do if world's gonna come to an end. the only thing i thought was to spend the remaining time with you. smiling at you...bickering with you...lying in your arms... i just wanna be around you, to know that i have had a meaningful and enriching life, a life story that has taught me many, many things. And of course, its only you that made me feel this way(:
dear.. though you may have heard of this soooo many times, but i really wanna express my thanks to you, for making these 5 months plus, such a magical part of my life. i can truly say that it's the best time of my life to be spending part of my sweet 16 and now 17th year with you. You never failed to care about me, to give me the love and concern that i need, the attention that i want, and the time that is ever so precious to you, yet you gave it all to me. Thanks for everything you've given me. I will never wanna make you sad with my actions or words anymore! You are the missing piece in my life. Thanks darling, for making it complete. Thanks darling, for being who you are. I love you, i always do..
13112009
爱你的老婆！
.Tuesday, November 3, 2009 Y
Time flies..
It has been 5 months with junhao already (:
Today was judgement day..
it can be a surprise, or a more expected outcome, that there are retainees in our class of 1SB6.
Though i may not be so close with them, or didn't have the chance to, but to see them not moving along as i am, i really feel the sadness.
hmm, and i feel kinda guilty sometimes, for neglecting my classmates and girl friends over and over again. Emo-ed cos i went broke today. I was like thinking how many groups of friends and how many outings i should have, but how little money i have.. hai.
It was a fun day today with junhao and the rest with the bingos. (:
then suddenly after calling junhao a retard jokingly, he simply used his right knuckles and drilled it into my head, with his left hand keeping firm of my neck that i had no chance to move. oh man, it was PAIN LIKE SHIT. First time crying out cos of pain. i guess he pressed on my old wound where i knocked hard cos of the brake in my grandpa's car. hai. EMONESS throughout.
sorry dear..
i got pissed for not being able to find you. sorry for not being there for you to rub my head for me. i didnt blame you, and i didn't want you to worry. im sorry...
though i promised you a blog post, i know it should turn out like this. dont be like me... dont feel guilty anymore okay?
i love you the way you are, and everything about you. really, i do. you also didn't want this to happen anyway, and u did not do it intentionally. im alright dear, smile always okay? i love you always...
.Thursday, August 13, 2009 Y
hahas!
it's been a superrrrr long time since i last blogged.
haha.
i know you guys just miss me :p
hmm. short update for those who haven been seeing me for quite some time.
haha! i found that acjc life kinda suits the playful me.
there's room for me to be dreamy, to be serious, to fool around, to hang out, to be random, to be childish.
but it's time to be accountable for my own doings.
i have to work hard.
i can't slack.
to get good grades.
i reap what i sow.
hmm. the old kayyan has changed i guess. i am now more sensible.
i know how to think for myself. i grow to be more independent. i grow to learn the singapore roads so that i do not get lost.
i grew taller (possibly).
i grew to be more matured.
i grew not to be so fussy over small issues that doesn't kill or affect me much.
also.
i grew to talk alot.
i am more random than ever.
i like to talk about people, good or bad.
be it to praise someone, or to rant or vent my frustration.
i grew to use alot of slang, like 'damn', 'super', 'what the hell/shit'.
i grew to cherish friendship more.
i grew not to put so much importance to someone, and get battered and hurt at the end.
i grew not to let stuff affect my relationship, affect my mood so much.
but still, im still the randomly high kayyan. the girl with random lame thoughts. the girl that loves hanging out.
the girl that found her love!<3
totally love him!
i doubt any juniors or people will be so random to click on my blog to check this out lah, since timothy had long ago declared the blog funeral for this blog long long time ago.
its the 71th day we're together!, that's 10 weeks!!!!
happiness to the max!
had a whole lot of awesomeness and wonderful moments together, walking in the rain under one pathetically small umbrella, reaching school only to realised the rest of the class is totally dry.
and then got sick after that, only to realise how much he actually cares for me.
the times we laugh at each other's fats, though i have alot and all of his are all muscles, so i always ended up making a fool out of myself.
the times we shake each other's head like crazy in uniform at mrt stations without caring about how others think of us. his cuteness after he cuts his hair; the way he manage to sms me without his specs and while being wrapped in the big drapes and towels.
the way he waits for me every morning, and the times i can ever wait happily for someone. i swear, its the first time i ever waited for ANYONE for an hour yet not getting angry. i guess he's the only one that can ever make me feel like that(:
the way he apologises to me, the way he thinks he makes me sad when its actually my fault for causing it, if i dont ever play hard-to-get so hard. the way he talks when he's sad, sounds like he's sa jiao-ing that nobody could ever get mad at him. but makes me dam heart pain to see him that way.
i like him when he does the things that i never expected him to ever do for me, the randomness that i kinda unleashed. the things that he buy for me when im sick or when i said i like to eat, or when he feels like spending the $2 on me everyday despite his totally totally tight budget!
i like the way he sacrifices his time to play dota for me, though its totally unnecessary.
the way he teaches me the things i dont know. the way he tells me about his past. his present. and his future.
我好希望他的未来会有我的存在！
he's a super great friend, a super great boyfriend. and i can't stop liking him!
i like him a whole lot. there's still a whole list of things that i wish to name it out yet my small brain simply allowed it to slip pass. but my heart is big. i am definitely sure that no matter what, it will be here to stay, in my heart.
lastly, happy 10 weeks to us dear! thanks for keeping my heart beating! you might not be seeing this, but it still doesn't deter my randomness from writing it all down. ilu, lmpb, lmlg.
.Sunday, February 1, 2009 Y
Just went out visitation to my 保姆's house(: but sadded mom is recurring her loss, so angbao's not really much for keeping T.T But im still contented, cos i just earned a whooping duno-how-much o_O Didn't really bother to count hahaha.
Just came home and found the bag i took for prom lying on my table. YEAH. Now did i realise i had abandoned it just because weiliang broke it on prom night. Whatever he takes surely break i wonder why-_-" So now im gonna check out that online store again and see if i can mend it myself o_O *good luck to me* hahas, that bag is nice lo, though not really ex, but its still MY MONEY. I'm sooo not gonna squander money anyhow anymore.
And good news! I finally got my O level exam winnings!-_- (though it's like two months late) Not ALOT though, cos half of it was like used to pay my hp bills during work and to contact some idiot for the last two months -_-" And i got 100 bucks that was supposed to reimburse my holiday spendings? LOL. Fine, i already spent more than half of it at the arcade and saving some to buy a new shoe and return borkhang, before i spend them all up again-_-.
GOAL: Kay Yan's gonna save money from now on :/ JiaYou!^^V
Okay, i think this is just a crap post to remind myself not to squander anymore money at arcades and movies (mind you, i DID NOT include KBOX !=D ) Plus i got some discount at kbox that i haven't spend it away, hahaha.
Anyway, i don't feel like blogging that often liaos. Or maybe i'll add more pictures when i have a new phone. My current phone sucks like mad man!T.T
.Saturday, January 31, 2009 Y
*thumbs up to seoul garden* now im having food poisoning!! T.T
Blame it on my poor immune system! >< Blame it on me eating hot and cold food together, and the raw chicken nic cooked!:D
Just kidding. hahaha.
Was supposed to enjoy my music, then received a call from chialek to lend her pants and black shoes cos she misplaced hers somewhere and she has to work later on o.O When i got there she was enjoying swensens with yk-_- good lor, didn't ask me along!><
Anyway went library and borrowed a few books about dogs cos im gonna have a pet dog SOON!~ *YAYNESS!* Im gonna train it to bite at people. MUAHAHA. Jus kidding, I'd rather train it to sit and wag, roll and shake hands, and turn about(: and maybe let my friends come see my new pet and be friends^^
OKAY. I'm thinking TOO far. -_-" tonight maybe going ahboy's house bainian!^^ angbaos coming my way loo~ *cheers*
